What I already love....

Lilyana, Daniel and Isaiah....my sweet babes.  We have started with transition visits and that pretty much means we have the kids one full day during the week and then on the weekends.  It's not long enough.  We wanted to give them a few weeks of a transition time to get to know us but now it just seems way to long and June 8th seems too far away.  On Tuesday evening when we dropped them back off with their foster parents, the parents asked if we wanted to do their baths and tuck them in for the night...YES!  At the end of the evening we all snuggled on Lily's bed and said our prayers.  I hated leaving that moment.  In my head I know that we are going to have thousands more of those moments in the future, but my heart just wants to hold on to that one!

One of my other friends Casey blogged about what she didn't want to forget about her kids and the stages that they are in....my spin on it today is "What I already love..." It does amaze me how much in love with them I already am.

Lilyana, her sweet little smile. The way I overheard as she and Tim were walking out to the van "Is Mama coming too?" How she turned on the princess charm when the neighbor kids came over to play.  Within just minutes she had them doing whatever she asked! How she keeps bringing Isaiah toys to play with and then coming to tell me just in case I didn't see her do it. How she just wants you to praise her.  I could keep going on....

Daniel, my little linebacker. He's built like a solid tank and walks thru the room like a bulldozer taking out everything in his path! I love how at times he just follows Lilyana around doing everything she does (which means Isaiah is getting alot of toys piled in front of him!). How he is constantly hungry!!  How he keeps insisting on calling grapes, apples no matter how hard we try to convince him that they are called grapes. How he points out every bird in the sky. The way he roars with everything he's got at dinosaurs! How when he throws a fit he goes at it whole-heartedly! He has alot of passion in him!!

Isaiah, my little muppet.  How he's gone from being a mama's boy to wanting to be independent (ok maybe I don't love that completely).  I love how when he doesn't want something he throws his arms up crossed in front of his face.   How he inch worms his way across the floor.  How his crazy hair sticks straight up in the air!!  I love how enamored he is with his brother and sister!! And he is such a happy easy baby!

My heart aches for the times that I've missed in each of their lives.  Lilyana has a chest tube scar that no one can tell me about. Isaiah was alone in the NICU for the first 8 weeks of his life.  Daniel had surgeries that I wasn't there for.

In the beginning of our journey our agency asked us if we would consider adopting older, non-infant kids.  As we discussed it the conclusion we can to was even though we missed the first part of their lives, if we said no we would miss out on so much more!  The rest of their lives with us! I have no regrets about that decision....only a bit of sadness that I wasn't there from the start.

More and more foster care and adoption is taking ahold of my heart.  Tim and I have been so blessed by the kids in our lives.  Please prayerfully consider if foster care should be a choice for your family.

I can't wait for what our future holds!!!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day...Just the phrase alone creates so many different emotions. 

I remember just a few years back the total avoidance of the day.  I knew that God had a promise of a family for us, but as it was not yet fulfilled, I wanted nothing to do with that day.  Including scheduling myself to work so I wouldn't have to go to church :)

Then the last few years...so bittersweet.  The last 3 Mother's Days I've held sweet children in my arms.  Happy and honored that I was chosen to be their mother, yet so sad knowing that they wouldn't be there forever. And always remembering the girls who had already left us. 

And this year...Today I am remembering my precious girls who I miss so much! They taught me to much about how to be a momma and how to love.  I never imagined that I could love like that. 

As I held Isaiah today I'm overwhelmed with emotion.  Everyday it is more promising that we will be able to adopt him in the fall.  It's almost surreal.  He is an amazing little man and is nothing like the little premature baby that we brought home in August!

And then I got an even more amazing Mother's Day gift...

This past week we found out that 2 more children will be placed in our home for adoption!! Isaiah's brother and sister!!!  No for real...like his biological brother and sister!!  They have been in a wonderful Christian foster home for the last 2 years and now we have been given the opportunity to be their parents.  It's almost unbelievable. 

Lilyana is 4 and Daniel is almost 2...and yes Isaiah is almost 1  :)  Pray for us!  We are incredibly excited, nervous, happy and scared all rolled into one!  They are great kids, but at their ages the transition will be difficult at first.  We have already started visits with them and are hoping to bring them home the second week in June. 

We are asking for prayers for them to attach well to us, and a smooth transition. And pray that we know how to be the parents that they need.  We are so blessed that they have been in a loving stable home for 2 years.  We are very grateful to their foster parents.  Pray for the foster parents as well that they will be comforted when they leave. 

What a precious Mother's Day this year....We are finally having glimpses of a vision of what our forever family will look like.